Who is the spy at the Ambassador’s reception? That
is the question. Is it the junior diplomat drinking Scotch at the bar, or the worn-out, platinum blonde wife of that know-it-all Counsellor
in the Political Section? Perhaps the Third Secretary in Economic/Development,
the one who drinks shandy and watches Sex
and the City. There are a lot of unsavoury characters in the ranks of the
intelligence community, and he’s a bit of a “red flag,” isn’t he? I heard that
he’s got a first in gay from Cambridge. For all we know, he could be
Moscow’s man at the UK Mission. Let’s face it: any one of these characters at
the Ambassador’s reception could be the man, or woman, on the spying trapeze.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Expat under the Jackboot
Achtung Farang! For
you ze party is over. Three years ago on May 19,
2010, things went pear shaped for the 8.2 million or so residents of Bangkok.
The sit-in and occupation of the city by the United Front for Democracy against Dictatorship (UDD), the 100,000 strong red shirted supporters of ousted PM Thaksin Shinawatra (removed in a
military coup of September 2006) was forcibly evicted by security forces after a two month protest. Snap shots pinged and ricocheted. Grenades banged. And plumes of smoke from
arson attacks rose up from the city centre blackening the sky. Dangerous days in a country
defined by a rift. You were either a Yellow or Red. But, this time 3 years ago, if you
happened to be Red, you could have ended up dead, dead, dead.
The AWOL Ambo
In May 2010, nerves were frayed at the UK Mission in Bangers. Red Shirt protestors (the United Front for Democracy against Dictatorship) had set up camp next to the Embassy compound, a brick's lob from the Ambassador's residence. They were a noisy bunch who played
Thai country music 24/7 and liked setting off fireworks. Silly Billy UK based staffers (now living on site to cut costs for HMG) thought they were getting mortared. There was
much panic below stairs. Many diplomats, worried about a Mau Mau style massacre, fled to Pattaya to play elephant polo and 18 holes of golf. Surely the
upper ranks of the UK Mission would be sporting their best stiff upper lip?
Bollocks they
would.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Sunday, May 19, 2013
The Secret Origin of the Male Trailing Spouse
How does a
nightmare begin? For Alexander Reynolds, journalist, newly posted to Thailand, it
began at a few minutes past Seven on a lost Wednesday night. It began with the
arrival of a strange book from a distant bureaucracy.
“DFIDSEA Bangkok
Welcome Guide: A Little advice to help you through your first days and weeks at
post in Bangkok.”
In the years to
come, Alexander Reynolds would go back to where it all began. Many times.
FCO Spousal Abuse
Three weeks ago The Times asked me to write (and
rewrite!) a feature about my life as a male trailing spouse.
“I’ve been on the hunt,” the Boss lady said, “for an expat husband who might write a funny piece for us about what it’s like following your wife’s career across the globe. We always hear about the expat ladies who lunch, but what about the men? Do you lunch, shop and get pedicures too? Does it feel emasculating and how do others react to the news that you’re the trailing spouse?”
“I’ve been on the hunt,” the Boss lady said, “for an expat husband who might write a funny piece for us about what it’s like following your wife’s career across the globe. We always hear about the expat ladies who lunch, but what about the men? Do you lunch, shop and get pedicures too? Does it feel emasculating and how do others react to the news that you’re the trailing spouse?”
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Tom Jones KO’s crowd at the British Embassy May Ball
The role of the British Embassy in Thailand, or any British Embassy in the world for that matter, is to
work with the host government and the private sector to increase bilateral
trade and investment. For many years some of this vital business intelligence
work and lobbying was done over prawn cocktail, beef wellington and apple
crumble at the British Embassy May Ball.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Tips for Trailing Spouses
Excess baggage: 4.7 kilos; time spent in official line at
immigration: 22 seconds; Duty Free; fags: 400 Benson and Hedges; booze: malt
whiskey (three litres); cosmetics: X2 Clarins Super Moisture Gel ($22 each!) Run
to gate (late again!) turn left in aircraft (business class), fasten seat belt,
pop Xanax, read latest edition of The
Economist and try to look intellectual on the flight back to London.
A
trailing spouse must trail, trek and travel. Globetrotting is good for the
image. It makes you exotic and your friends jealous. But flying is expensive, right?
Not necessarily.
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