Adventures in Boozing

Hellraiser. A man who causes trouble by drinking, being violent, or otherwise behaving outrageously. 

Lots of men are wild but some don't stop. We'll risk everything in pursuit of the ha-ha-ha. Men like us are "hellraisers" famed for our partying as well as our "careers". Warts and all, I'm the latest incarnation. Mad. Bad. Dangerous. There are times when I just don't care and that's a flaw. Is it some primordial desire to be a kid again? No. Maybe it's just a product of boredom. Yes. Perhaps that's it. But in the meantime, it's time to stick a finger up at society and the system at large. I like to party. I like to get into full scale barroom brawls. I like the company of women. Very hot women. 

And there's a point to prove. I got to be brilliant. Take on all comers. Play the social rebel. There's too much stupidity in the world of the 21st Century. It's time to go out and do what thou wilt coz it could all end tomorrow. Compulsive. Excessive. Indulgent. Hangovers. Lost weekends. On the brink. Almost in the clink. Why, it's just like London in the olde days. No holding back. No half measures. It's looning. Proper. 

After 125 days of no beer, it was time to sip an IPA or two at the local hipster dive bar 97 Estoria. I've managed to sample most of the beers on the menu of this smoky joint. PBR is the most popular brand at $3 a can. Unfortunately, like most American beers, it's absolute piss and an Englishman would have to drink a "six-pack" to get a moderate buzz. 

Another pissy fucker is Coors Banquet, a gassy brew but at 5% a little more potent than PBR. I noticed Dennis Hopper in Tracks as a crazed veteran drinking Coors Banquet in the bar car of a train. It did not end happily ever after. 

Last week, it was Charles Bronson's beer of choice in Breakout. That double, however, isn't enough to turn me on to Coors Banquet. 

The first time I tried Tecate Mexican beer was in Phoenix, Arizona way back in December 2006. I was on the job for the Torygraph doing a story about Sheriff Joe Arpaio and stopped off at a bar in Old Town Scottsdale to recuperate. After two cans of this piss, I chucked up my Tex Mex chimichanga all over the floor. Never again. HOWEVER Tecate is on the menu at 97 Estoria and so it was time to revisit. Most Mexican brews are OK but this stuff is like Carling Black Label and not even the addition of a lime improves the taste of this rancid liquid. 

But what about some American beers that I do like? Well, there is a local brew called A Night on Ponce. It's got the hop of an olde world English-style IPA, unfortunately a six-pack of A Night on Ponce usually results in All Morning on the Khazi with an upset stomach and the Indian-style runs. 

Another default IPA is Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. The barmaids at 97 Estoria take the mick every time I order a "Sierra Nevaaaaaarda". I can happily chug down two of these with little effect; after about four, I'm on the way to getting merry. The down side is that a six-pack does not make one feel too bright. Like A Night on Ponce, it usually means potty training the very next morning. 

One of my fav Yankee beers from the 20th Century is Brooklyn Lager. Along with Dixie beer from Louisiana (not available in Georgia), this is one of the finer things in this godforsaken colony of Antichrists and E-Scooters. 

But what about hellraising, the latest adventures in boozing? Oh, yeah. That. Day or night, drunk or sober, 2 out of 3 visits to 97 Estoria usually results in some creepily aggressive experience or public spat. The latest (and last!) happened on the full moon night of September 14th. Suffice to say, it involved causing trouble by drinking, being violent and behaving outrageously. I'm amazed the Old Bill didn't show up and certainly won't be going to the hipster dive bar again. I'm glad. There were times when the joint resembled the Queen Vic from Eastenders and the Rovers Return in Coronation Street. True to form, I did do a Liverpool-style runner on the $40 bar tab; however, I hope this doesn't result in a Sunday morning visit from the plods...