The True Crime Curse of Waffle House

Caution: Dining at Waffle House might prove hazardous to your health. 

Scolding words. Dramatic scuffles. Gunshots fired. Broken glass. Spent brass. Splintered wood. Busted heads. Damaged limbs. Thank heavens the seats are bolted to the floor but watch out for those coffee cups; they've been used to bludgeon customers in the past. Yep. Late night dining at Waffle House can result in a trip to jail, the ICU or the morgue.

When foreigners think about American late night diners, the paintings of Norman Rockwell and Edward Hopper come to mind. Lonely nighthawks in downtown spots with pristine floors and gleaming counters. The diner is supposed to be a friendly joint but its traditional image is such a contrast with the reality of Waffle House. 

Fights at late night fast food joints are nothing new to an Englishman. Back home, in Brexit Britain, there are more vicious punch ups in fast food joints than pubs, and Waffle House, to a  foreign outsider, often comes across as the American equivalent of the English high street kebab shop. One detail, however, distinguishes these places from ones on our side of the pond: guns. Being English, and therefore civilized, we're content to brawl with our limbs and stab one another with a correctly held knife and fork.

Since 1955, at 21,000 locations across 25 states, Waffle House has been serving up an "unbeatable combination of good food and outstanding service". But violent crime has been a longstanding problem for the popular 24-hour restaurant chain for quite some time. Armed robberies and deadly shootings, why so many. And why is it always Waffle House? Don't ask me. I'm English. I dunno nuffink.

The restaurants are ubiquitous. It's a 24/7 diner (and loonies come out at night). It's cheap grub, walk ins are always welcome, and, unlike Rules back home in London, you don't have to book a table in advance. Drunk or stoned at 3AM it's not just the unsavory customers that one has to be wary of. The staff at Waffle House get violent, too.  

Should I run these red flags through an algorithm? Is Waffle House a kill zone beyond cure? Or is the all-night diner a social anomaly that defies statistical analysis?  I dunno. I'm English. Dunno nuffink, Guvnor.

Is Waffle House as rowdy as its rep? In the dead of night, between the true crime hours of 1 and 3AM, I hopped around outlets in metro Atlanta to talk to staff and patrons about some of the things they have witnessed. Fights. Fights galore. West Side Story knife fights. Death Row gun fights. Strangers. Friends. Couples. Just stories about wild nights and crazy fights. "It must be one of the toughest jobs working in a Waffle House," said the young server at my local outlet. "But there's a depression. And I don't got much choice but to work here until I find something better," she sighed. It was much the same complaint elsewhere. "Anything can happen in Waffle House," said the night manager of another neighboring outlet. "Absolutely anything. No two shifts are ever the same. There's no such thing as routine. Just mayhem."  

Until it reverts to being a trusty, "good food fast" restaurant, suitable for all the family, at all hours of the day and night, the True Crime Curse of Waffle House will continue.