When a man about town becomes a male trailing spouse, he ceases to be about town forevermore. In my case, the town was London and the post was Bangkok, a city with a well worn rep for human intrigue and self gratification.
Life in London was anything but sedate. Social events and engagements were constant. I belonged to private members clubs, dined in fancy restaurants, went to the latest plays and started riots. My adult existence had been a series of scrapes, follies and misadventures. Now I had to tone down the act, and play the part of the diplomat's other, the male trailing spouse, the dutiful househusband, the well-kept himbo.
Moving abroad displaces a man about town. You immediately become a kind of non-citizen as an expat. Who you are, what you did, where you come from -- those sorts of things travel like ouzo if you own a self important personality. The only thing that does travel is power and wealth. But who wants to be vulgar and exhibit that? Not a DFID spouse. You are not at post to flaunt the scepter and baubles of status. You are there save the Second and Third World from bad housing and rickety roads.